Women who are tired of short-lived and immature relationships can find a more satisfying and more stable relationship with an older guy than a guy in his late 20’s for example.Younger men are still in their vigorous stage where they are easily tempted.People are asking why, they’re questioning in what world Elle Fanning and Jude Law feels like an appropriate romantic pairing and some people have suggested that it’s unlikely that a woman that young would want to be with a man that old. I might not like it, you might like it, and we might all wish that is wasn’t true, but the thing is, teenage girls do fancy older men. When we pretend that teenage girls don’t have a sexual identity, or that they don’t ever find older men attractive, we ignore the problem.
I am not terribly conventional, I have a doctorate, and I am fairly independent. I am really energetic and still enjoy many of the things I enjoyed in my 20s and 30s.
I draw a line in my head between the older men I fancied at a teenager who resolutely refused to engage with it, and those who indulged it or even courted it. Older men at parties who made comments about my body or came on to me. And I wish they’d known that I didn’t fancy them because they were interesting or attractive, but because they seemed powerful to me. They were sad men who were dazzled by youngness and flattered by my attention.
There were teachers who let me embarrass myself with clumsy childish flirting but never encouraged me for a second. I would have done literally anything that they wanted. They didn’t pause to think about the fact that I would remember how they ran their hands over my body or asked me if I was ‘still a virgin’. Ten years later I remember in technicolour detail, and I judge them.
When it happens it’s not motivated my malice or designed to be predatory.
It’s because they don’t realise that they’re acting from a position of power.